Doldrums

 I'm into the Summer doldrums. I hate hot weather. There are perspiration, humidity, an insanely hot car when I go anywhere, the fat I carry around, and allergies to something(I don't know what). I stay tired and depressed during much of the months of July and August. I hate heat. I wouldn't do well in Alabama, Louisiana, etc. I lived in Florida for six years. It's unbelievable what heat can do when paired with humidity.

I've long believed that the problem with myself and many other women I know is that we can't adjourn the committee meeting going on in our heads. Lately, a life-altering decision about my future has had me guessing and second guessing myself. Over and Over again. Instead of resting at night, and instead of concentrating on the task at hand during the day.

You see, I've found that my Social Security isn't enough and when put with any other income I can scrounge, I still need more. I think I'm in good company. So my mind is working on ways to increase the income. Robbing banks is out because I can't run anymore. And they would probably catch me. But selling my body on the street corner won't work either. Damn.

Summer is also a time for swollen feet and fingers, and for more trouble than usual trying to control my weight. Since becoming diabetic, it's harder than ever to keep the diet going. Some

people love the fresh veggies and fruits that summer brings. And while I like them, my aging stomach isn't reacting well. I suppose if it's not one thing it's another.

I have bitched enough. I'm sure there are those out there who are right with me in these problems. The fashion thing is not working too well for me now. I feel heavier than ever and I'm reluctant to face photos of me in this state. All of the money in the world won't change that even though it might help. But face it, I have a closet full to overflowing with clothes which are now tight on me and a reluctance to wear anything but the few things that I'm sure will fit. I'm going to take some pics soon. I promise. But anyone who giggles will be forever banned.