I am pissed. I am 72 years old with a 47 year old boy friend. He is the light of my life after 29 years of togetherness. Now I find that he is not telling others that I am his girlfriend. Afraid of being made fun of. pissed off. Now. Really.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
I still like sex.
I still have sex.
I still look at men if they are my sort of handsome.
I still want to feel sexy.
I still want to be intimate with my love of 29 years.
He is a lot younger than I.
I feel lucky to have a really loving relationship.
I have noticed that in some ways my feelings are the same as when I was 15.
If anyone has wondered about old, I suppose this answers one of the questions for some.
Monday, February 19, 2018
I have also discovered that the worst days can get better. Lots of times I over think the bad stuff. I have read that we should think of things we are grateful for in bad times. But, I'm prone to depression. I don't do well with the gratitude thing when I'm really depressed. The only thing that seems to help is time. Time being hugged by my honey. Time actually accomplishing something. Time spent in my closet making it neater. Time spent outside just breathing. Time talking to a friend or my kids. Time planning something good. Oh, and good food.
I'm working on finding a sure fire method of ridding myself of depression. I'll take any help you can give me.
Friday, January 12, 2018
In the world I live in words can hurt. Maybe others are immune to words. Maybe others are better able to understand when they are just words and don't mean anything. And the words can make a moment better. Or not. How often have you made a promise to do something and when the time came to follow through it didn't seem like such a good idea? How often have you believed it when someone said or promised something good and then didn't follow through? Or even worse, became angry when the promise was brought up?
I find myself listening to the political arena and hearing lie after lie after lie from those who are tasked with governing the country. I find myself looking at mags like the Enquirer and seeing lie after lie published as if they were the truth. I see on TV that lie after lie is more and more prevalent. Is there a time for change? A time to go back to the basic rightness of things? I despair.
Monday, January 8, 2018
Second, I can vote. But I will only vote for those who actually care about the so-called little guy. Like me and many seniors.
Third I can keep myself as healthy as possible in order to have the energy to cope with the depression caused by this White House.
Last, I can say my piece. And I have.
Also as an attempt to fight depression, I am beginning to make my surroundings more comfortable. For instance, I enjoy pretty lighting and I have some. But it is usually off because my sig other doesn't enjoy it like I do. But he's at work. So there. In the winter months I need it because of the gray weather that is often outside my windows.
I am declogging. There is too much stuff in my house. Way too much. Do you realize you have to dust and clean that stuff. So cleaning includes lots of donations to the dump and to thrift. And it includes having less stuff to clean.
I have decided that alcohol is a depressant and a glass of wine just clings to my butt so out it goes.
I am a procrastinator par excellence. Witness how long it has taken to blog. Anyway, today I am beginning a budget. That is if I can figure out how. My immediate goal is to pay off the terrible debt I have so sleep comes easier.
I am leaving home. Literally. I am a hermit. A stay at homer. And I am not doing myself any favors by not partaking of the wonderful things outside my walls. Since I am a loner and don't have a church(just not me) or senior center I attend(that's an option) just getting out will widen my intake of ideas and hopefully help me to grow and relax.
I am on Pinterest and I have learned so much. But I have so many things that I have saved and not read that I am instituting a "read one a day" rule on my computer use.
I hope to have more fabulous Ideas. Now that my brain is working(post Holiday sadness).
I love all of you who take the time to read my ramblings. Thanks.
Monday, December 11, 2017
I have taken my time on this issue. At least 60 years. And I am now doing a few baby steps. Cleaning out my closet has helped me. The old "does it fit, does it go on?" is gone. I'm getting rid of things I thought I needed just because they would cover my body. And I haven't bought any new things in several months. My daughter (1 of 2) has pared down so much but I'm still in love with the thought of having a lot of choices when I get dressed, especially if there is a pile up of laundry. You see, I have lost almost 60 pounds and only have 50 to go. So what I'm keeping will need to be altered at some point. Thank goodness I can sew.
My voice is telling me to get up and do some stuff. Sadly my butt is saying "Not now" so I'm sitting at the computer looking to find some other people who have dis-ease in their bodies. After having had the flu for almost 3 weeks, my butt is speaking louder than the inner cleaner. And the longer I wait the more there is to do.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
No one is looking at me but me. I know because I have been staying at home a lot. But the biggest cruel comments are coming from inside my head. I will elaborate further soon. Right now I'm back to trying to get over this damned flu. Have a lovely Sunday.