Yesterday

Yesterday my significant other turned 40. We have been together for forever and I can say he is a really good man. It's been quite a while since I turned 40 and a lot has happened in those years. I don't plan to share it all with the world. Suffice it to say, huge shake ups have left me on a life path I never planned for and never saw coming. Well guess what! That happens. The life path I am on now is so different that I don't have the map for it. I had thought to be sharing my life with a husband of many, many years when retirement came. Didn't work that way. Oh, well!

I am left with so many choices for the rest of my life that I am overwhelmed. It is funny that having a life plan that has been around a while is so confortable. I have always valued my independence. That is, since I can remember. It was an illusion in some cases and that was alright too. For a while. But when in a relationship, independence is something that is tempered with thought for the betterment of the pair. For instance, if I loved to travel and wanted to be gone a lot, the independent thing for me to do would be to make reservations. But what of the partner who likes to stay home? That is the sort of process my plans take on a regular basis. When I was married, I thought we were on the same page, life wise. How wrong I was. Now in the current life, I ask and watch to see where we are. So when I say my map is gone that's what I mean. I have given up trying to always be on the same page and just look to see if we are in the same book.

No matter how esoteric the previous post is, it still speaks to me not knowing where I am and where I am going. As you can see in the pic of my partner and the one of me, there are some huge differences in us. Makes the mapping a little more difficult. But guess what, the road not taken has left me on a road with a lot of interesting side streets.