I have spent the last 74 years wondering when I will feel at ease. At one with myself. At ease in my skin. And I have come up empty every time. I go to the what to wear after 50 and get angry. I look at the things they say an older person shouldn't wear and get angrier. And then I look at myself and I see that the things that are a no-no are not for me. I am not that person. My life does not include trips to the fancy restaurants. Nor does it have friends who love the latest fashion. While I do love handbags, I don't find the Chanel or Kors a need. Instead I love to find a bag that is me. And I love to find a look that does not need a special belt or hugely popular shoes to make me happy. I am actually very happy when I look in the mirror and see me, in my own persona. I have decided that I am not a typical older woman nor am I trying to be a typical younger woman. I love the look of long, wavy, gray hair. But my hair won't do that. I love the look of the fashionable younger woman with hip bones that show. Mine don't. I love the soft look of ruffles, and of florals and of quiet jewelry. But it isn't me. I am not able to carry those looks off. I live in a part of the country that is very consevative and as much as I would like to go with the artsy look, I find that I care entirely too much about the opinions of others. So, I've come to the conclusion that I must go with what I like and not worry too much about the opinions of others. If I look in the mirror and smile, that is it for the day. So there.
