Last Wednesday

Last Wednesday I turned 65. I had thought it would be difficult to deal with getting older and I was not looking forward to being considered old. I remember my grandparents and even my mom when 65 showed up. It was almost as if life had ended for them. Of course there are endings when the age creeps up. But I am at a loss to understand what causes reasonable intelligent people to think retirement and reaching 65 is a bad thing.

I went to the mountains with my honey on my birthday. One of the places we visited was Bald River Falls. We sat by and in streams and rivers. We looked for crawdads and fish. We found a baby snapping turtle and saw two young deer on their way to the river to drink. Unfortunately the weather has been dry so there was a lot of dust but nothing can completely negate the feeling of being enfolded by mother mountain. Millions of years old, the mountains are really just getting started. They provide the most soulful peace I have ever experienced. And as I was sitting on a rock looking at the clear rushing water and the trees I realized I was the author of my life. There have been books written on the subject. I read them but didn't get it. The mountains have been shaking off bad stuff for millions of years. Of course I am able to do it too.

As for being the author of my life, I am responsible for the bad things, the problems, the unhappiness I have felt. I could have done something about the overweight at any time had I chosen to make it a priority. I could have had my home looking like I loved it instead of just paid rent. I do own my own home. I could have taken the time and the effort to do the things I love and to get good at them.

That waterfall has seen all sorts of problems. There have been droughts, storms, tornadoes, etc. It is still falling and giving its beauty freely to those who come. When I think of problems about things I would like to do, I can remember to keep on. Just keep on.