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Saturday, June 8, 2013

A constant adjustment

Life is often interesting. And worrisome. And difficult. And boring. And fun. I think I'm in need of some fantasy time. I mean it. I need some time to live in a fantasy land. I've been overwhelmed by life. Money out, no money in. It seems that every time I decide I'm doing better, something happens. This time it was the computer. It quit. And it's funny but I lived through it.

We have one computer in the house. We both spend a lot of time on the computer doing one thing or another. We have a sort of routine. It is comforting in my old age to have a routine. But the computer is just another in a list of expensive repairs that have been done this year. I got lucky. It was fixed without a huge bill.

We talked. Since the computer was down, B and I had a long and fun conversation. Then we watched TV together. You know, it was actually a good thing.

But back to my comforting routine. I'm finding it's time to break out of the routine again. I've gotten back into the habit of not taking pics of myself. I look in the mirror in the bathroom when I've showered and dressed and I'm both pleased and angry. I'm pleased because I have some fairly nice things to wear. At least they look OK to me. And I'm angry because I haven't lost weight and I want to. I find that I eat without noticing. I don't plan meals. That isn't a good idea for a diabetic or for a person needing to drop pounds. And when I look at pictures of me I see a whole other thing. For some reason I don't look at all good no matter what I wear. Well it's time to do pics again so I'm more aware of what others see. It's harder to fool myself if I post a pic.

Yes, that's it. I'll take some pics.


Ofelia said...

Judy, I'm sorry to hear about your computer since I know how attach we all have become to technology but I'm glad to read that you are able to connect and spend more time with your partner.
About the weight; its a difficult battle for all of us especially after 40 but you must do something about because is your health on the line.

Kathleen said...

I am in the exact same boat! I have a pesky 15 lbs that I've gained back that I would really like to lose, but it also force me to buy new summer clothes...that I actually like and feel good in.

I'm not a fan of pictures of myself; it's funny...I always look better in the mirror than the image that is captured by the lens.

I prefer to believe the reflection in the glass is the real me. :)

Lisa said...

I find pictures are helpful. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes not. ha But they do give me a better perspective. That's one reason I keep a "photo diary". It encourages me to dress properly and helps me to be more mindful of what I eat. I keep a food journal too (in Google Docs onlin) of every single thing I eat and calories...and plan out my meals for the week. I've been doing that for a couple of years now and it keeps me more accountable and on track. It's become habit to do now and I've learned to do it consistently.