Quick

I had a medical procedure Tues which was interesting. A full day of prep and then recovery after. And of all the worst times to get a really bad cold, I've had it since Sunday. So if you hear a rumble of  ugly thoughts and nasty words going around it's coming from me. I had hoped to blog about a couple of things this week and my mind is so shot I can't remember them.

But I had to bitch.

It broke loose

I went to the doctor. I have a hernia in my big fat stomach. I'd said I didn't want to have pics made because of weight. I eat when I'm stressed, among other times. Anyway, I went to a surgeon. It turns out I will have surgery. Not hernia surgery but weight loss surgery. And if that wasn't enough, I'll be going to a sleep center to find out about my sleep apnea. And I'll be getting a couple of other medical procedures done. And an eye exam.

I remember thinking that if the financial problem worked out I'd be fine. Well, it did. I'll be able to begin work on the house and have pretty new floors before Christmas. Am I happy? I'm just not sure. I think I'm trying to worry about too many things at once. OK. But how do I slow down. How do I really do things one day at a time? I'm going a little nuts here. So thanks for listening to my rant.

I said I was ready

Sometimes I think I spend all of my time waiting. I tend to think-"everything will be alright when _______ happens". I have big plans. Yeah.

Anyway, I will soon know what will happen over the next 4-6 months. I am going to be doing some redecorating. I've already talked about that. But at the same time, I have found out that there are some other things I have to deal with.



I finally went to the Doctor a couple of weeks ago. I have some things I needed to check on. Friday I went to a sleep center to start the testing process. But I don't know when that happens because this coming Tuesday I have an appointment with a surgeon. It seems I have a lady hernia. A tear in the muscle that runs from ribs to pubis. Anyway, it tore in a north-south direction and will have to be repaired. In order to begin working on the sleep thing I'll need to see when the surgery will be and what it will involve. So the house thing is also in limbo. Damn.

You may have noticed that there are no recent pics of me on the blog. That is partly because I have gained weight. I have tried but losing is just not working for me now. I found out one reason why. It seems that when a person has sleep apnea, they don't have a good metabolism and there is a problem with their leptin level. So they tend to hold onto the weight. And they are tired all of the time. And they want to sleep a lot. And boy can I relate to that. I can remember having a hard time staying awake at work and often I'd have to go out to my car on my lunch break and take a nap. I think I have had this problem all of my life. It's practically impossible to get through a day now without a nap.

About the pics. I'm really ashamed of the weight situation. I see people losing weight and when I really try, I tend to get sick to my stomach. It seems empty isn't good for me. So I'm very interested in getting some good help for the apnea.

Because I've gotten some financial relief I have found a place to buy clothes online that are cute and really different from what I have been getting. I hope the surgeon cuts some of the fat out of my oversized belly so they will look good on me. I found that shopping is more difficult now because of the back pain. It's amazing how much back support comes from the stomach muscles. So Zulily is my new go to place for clothes. They have some fabulous things for regular women's sizes and some better choices for plus sizes too. And the kids clothes almost make me wish I had a little one. I've also ordered a couple of things for the house. The way they work their good deals is explained at the site. I'm so glad I found them.

So, as usual, things are once again up in the air. But not boring. Never boring.