Not Participating

I'm frustrated. I got a call from the WLS surgeon's office and they said my insurance company would not approve the surgery I want because I am not on their rolls for next year. So I panicked. I had already received next year's insurance card and I didn't know what to think. Cancelled? Computer glitch? Just plain old bad luck? So I located the page the card came from and it said good Jan 1, 2014. Then I called the surgeon's office and they resubmitted the request. So again I'm waiting.

There are few things I hate more than waiting. So I've decided it's time to follow the program the Dr.'s office gave me. Going to the grocery store today and by Friday I'm going to be doing the heavy protein diet that will prepare my body. It looks like they are scheduling about 3 months out so I have time to get ready. I hope the approval will come soon.

I've been getting things from Zulily. They have some nice boho fashions and I love those. Kimonos are wonderful and feminine and to me, sexy. So I've ordered several things. I'm finding that it's easy to get hooked on buying clothes on the internet. It's so easy. But I did start with Zulily before I found out about the surgery possibility. Anyway, as with anything bought from the internet, sizing can be strange. So several things have come in too small. Not a lot too small. But they will be helpful as I lose pounds. As you can tell, I'm really counting on the approval from the insurance company.

Things make me crazy. I'm still waiting on the wood for my floor to come in. And I'm waiting for the approval from the insurance company. And I've been waiting for the setting of a surgery date. And I don't wait well. Meanwhile there are a lot of things I'm not doing. Like dieting, exercising, etc. In other words, not participating. It's time to have faith and get moving. Yes. That.

The Happening

I've been writing on one of my other blogs about my plan(depending on insurance approval) to get weight loss surgery. I'm also getting wood flooring in the downstairs part of the house. And I'm tickled pink about the floor.

I haven't been posting because I've been strung out. I hate waiting. Twice I've called the doctor and found out my paperwork had not been sent to the insurance company. I'd scream but I lose my voice when I scream. And I can't bitch if I lose my voice. And I'm really bitchy right now. The hair needs to be colored and I don't have the right color here. The rooms need to be cleaned out and a lot of stuff needs to be pitched. The rest needs to be relocated when the workmen come. The floor is something I'd like to  have done before the surgery. At this point I don't know what the scheduling for surgery is. In late October it was for January. And I'm wanting to do it sooner than March. Probably won't happen though.

I'm shocked at the number of things that must be done before and after the surgery. I've been doing a lot of reading about it and it is not just an operation. In order to be successful at it, my total lifestyle must change. Thank goodness. From sedentary and in pain, I'll be able to become active and in charge of my pain. But, I've never been good at planning meals ahead, etc. And now I'm faced with learning some new tricks before the operation. And I'm glad to have something to look forward to.

I had bought a bunch of new clothes. Then I found out I had an umbilical hernia. And I gained some weight. And I went to a surgeon to fix the hernia. And he said I should look into the WLS.(weight loss surgery) So I did. For some reason I didn't think I'd qualify. I suppose I thought a person must be a lot heavier than I am to get the surgery. Not so. Having diabetes, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, spinal stenosis, etc adds what are called co-morbidities. And I have them in spades. And the WLS is supposed to help with them. For the last year I've been laying on the sofa a lot and napping a lot and in pain a lot. I'm looking forward to handling those problems. I'm also fighting depression in a big way. I don't care how much medication you take, outside influences can increase feelings of depression. Like pain, and fat. And tight clothes. I'm really happy to have the opportunity to improve these things.

The holidays are here. I used to love Christmas and Thanksgiving. But now I hate them. It is rare that I get to see the children and grandchildren. Between the distance to them, and the shape of my body, I'm finding it difficult to visit them. And they are very rarely in my area. When I loved Christmas I was still married with 3 kids at home and hosting a meal for my Mom and my husband's parents. I loved cooking the traditional meals, putting up a super tree, getting exciting gifts for the kids, etc. But my sigother and I are alone at Christmas and he doesn't like it either. Too commercial for him. I had all of my gifts bought and sent by 12/10. Being an only child is really not fun for me as I get older. No family get togethers. And Fall ended my marriage, and both my parents died. I have trouble with getting jolly. But things are looking up. During the last year my former sister-in-law came back into my life with her husband. We've been getting together on a regular basis since and our last outing was truly wonderful. She and her husband have given me family I never had. We have decided to be sisters. And I'm loving it. So this year I'm happier at the holiday season than I have been in a long time. I think finding her back in my life has raised my spirit a lot. I actually bought some lights and a couple of ornaments for the mantle and I smile.

One good thing about the WLS is that I can sew. I know I need to lose at least 100 pounds. And that means that a lot of the clothes I have(maybe all) will not come close to fitting when I am done. And I've been looking at blogs of altered clothing for ideas to use when the time comes. It's been a coon's age since I last sewed but I think mostly it's like riding a bike.(which I don't do any more) I'll pick it back up easily. If not you'll hear me screaming around the world.

I hope things are going well for all my readers. And I hope to have news soon about a surgery date.