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Sunday, January 11, 2015

There are times when

 I need a pick-me-up. My mood during the holiday season was not good. I miss so much. The days I cooked for family Christmas dinner. The days that I was with my children. The watching the kids open gifts and grinning all morning. The decorating. The anticipation. I loved it. Tiring sometimes. But always joyful. The I got older and it all changed. Children gone. Mom died. Marriage ended. My Dad had died many years before. But I had my ex's family. And I still loved it when I look back.

I lost my Dad in Oct. and my Mom in Nov, right after Thanksgiving. I lost my kids due to some poor decisions and the divorce. I blame myself for some of the losses. But there is something else that haunts me. I didn't know to do this and I want everyone to consider doing it. I didn't ask questions of my parents. I didn't know them as people but as parents. There have been so many questions that have come up and might be helpful to me now in dealing with my gray holiday mood. So for those of you who still have your families. Ask questions. Find out about the holiday traditions your parents had growing up. Learn what they liked before they became parents. And most of all, no matter how badly they screwed up as parents, love them. And let them know.

2 comments:

ditchingthedog said...

This is a beautiful post. Now that my mom is gone I understand the need to have questions answered.

Judy C said...

I think not understanding why we are sad or lonely may be made worse by not knowing about our past.