Waiting

I've been waiting to take a picture to post. I've been waiting to lose weight to take a picture. I've been waiting to get better at putting on makeup to take a picture. I've been waiting for a clean house to take a picture in. I'm 74 and soon to be 75. Waiting is getting to be a problem. So I'll try to post even in spite of waiting. Oh, and now the virus is making me think I'd better not wait.

It is amazing

It is amazing how a day can go from fine to fucked in an instant.

New......!!!!!

I am trying to come back from utter failure of faith. I am in a wonderful relationship and I am reasonably healthy. So why the fear, FEAR, of failure? I am fighting off the idea that although I love to make things and paint and sew, no one will want my creations. I am, unfortunately, in need of money to ease the cost of retirement. I know I can create. But can I create things that other people will want? I have stayed away from the blog because of fear. I can't say anything anyone wants to hear. I have seen so many wonderful things made by others and I can't imagine doing better work than is already being done. But I shall try to make others understand where my thoughts affect my jewelry creations. And I will trust anyone who still follows my blog to tell me when I mess up.

New pic coming soon

I am pissed. I am 72 years old with a 47 year old boy friend. He is the light of my life after 29 years of togetherness. Now I find that he is not telling others that I am his girlfriend. Afraid of being made fun of. pissed off. Now. Really.

Older, and older.

I'm here to recommend a new timetable for being old. I'm 72 and I'm going to get a little dirty now.

I still like sex.

I still have sex.

I still look at men if they are my sort of handsome.

I still want to feel sexy.

I still want to be intimate with my love of 29 years.

He is a lot younger than I.

I feel lucky to have a really loving relationship.

I have noticed that in some ways my feelings are the same as when I was 15.

If anyone has wondered about old, I suppose this answers one of the questions for some.

Recently discovered

I have recently discovered that there is not a damn thing wrong with me. I can tell by the minion that there are other people who love naps. Ergo-----I'm normal.

I have also discovered that the worst days can get better. Lots of times I over think the bad stuff. I have read that we should think of things we are grateful for in bad times. But, I'm prone to depression. I don't do well with the gratitude thing when I'm really depressed. The only thing that seems to help is time. Time being hugged by my honey. Time actually accomplishing something. Time spent in my closet making it neater. Time spent outside just breathing. Time talking to a friend or my kids. Time planning something good. Oh, and good food.

I'm working on finding a sure fire method of ridding myself of depression. I'll take any help you can give me.

Lie after lie

Someone says something. It sounds good. And it's just what you would like to see. And it's a reason to be happy. Or is it? Maybe it is just someone saying something to agree with you. Or it is something to get you off their back. Or it is something they believe at the time. But then, reality creeps in and you begin to understand that it is just words. There is no passion behind the words. They sound good so they are said but it is just words.

In the world I live in words can hurt. Maybe others are immune to words. Maybe others are better able to understand when they are just words and don't mean anything. And the words can make a moment better. Or not. How often have you made a promise to do something and when the time came to follow through it didn't seem like such a good idea? How often have you believed it when someone said or promised  something good and then didn't follow through? Or even worse, became angry when the promise was brought up?

I find myself listening to the political arena and hearing lie after lie after lie from those who are tasked with governing the country. I find myself looking at mags like the Enquirer and seeing lie after lie published as if they were the truth. I see on TV that lie after lie is more and more prevalent. Is there a time for change? A time to go back to the basic rightness of things? I despair.