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Sunday, January 27, 2013

I can relate

 I'm a bit older than Kirstie. I'm a bit larger than Kirstie. I'm a lot poorer than Kirstie. I have always wanted to be gorgeous. So has Kirstie.

I am a 67 year old woman who wanted to be pretty and sexy and to be able to attract the attention of lovely men. Then I wanted to attract the attention of any man. After a divorce, especially if it is one sided, a huge deficit of self worth seems to set in. At least it did for me. It made me feel like I was worthless. Ugly. Unlovable. Unwanted. I could just feel a big U in red on  my chest.

That was almost 25 years ago. I have a wonderful partner and he thinks I am beautiful. He says so. So why after 25 years is it still so hard to see me that way? I read an article about a woman who had lost 75 pounds and had some surgeries which fixed some problems. But when she looked into the mirror she still felt fat and still saw herself as ugly. Why do we so often fail to change the
thoughts and feelings about ourselves, for a very long time. If Kirstie is like that woman she still sees herself as the bottom picture instead of the top. That makes our war to improve ourselves even more difficult. And I've heard that you should visualize what you want. Boy, that's a hard one. I have a terrible time imagining myself with Miranda Kerr's body. Anyway, I can really understand why many well known women are frustrated with the aging thing and the weight thing. I can't, however, imagine that battle playing itself out in the glare of the flash.


Ofelia said...

Judy, remember that aging is a gift and that we are very lucky to have the medical care, food, gym and many others ways to achieve self improvement here in the wonderful USA.
There are times that we all will like to look a certain way or to be certain way but the fact that you have love, health, family and friends around that find you lovely just as you are; should count for something!
Love, Ofelia

Serene McEntyre said...

It's so true! I discovered a few years ago that what I think of myself is more important than what others think of me. And when we think poorly of ourselves, it's a self fulfilling prophecy! Serene

Birdie said...

Yes, I can relate too. Our society is obsessed with what a person should look like. It is governed by magazines, TV shows and movies. Maybe we should look back at all the old TV shows like Leave it to Beaver and see just how ridiculous it was to portray June Cleaver as how a mom/wife should look. Now, 50 years we can look back on how bad those stereotypes were. It really is no different, is it? Women do not look like the media says we should. Nobody I know, anyway!
Sorry, I am rambling as I am very tired but I hope I am making sense.

Stacey said...

I can totally relate to what you are saying. That old saying is true about having to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I struggle but am blessed to have found friends like you :)