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Monday, February 18, 2013

A disconnect

I feel a disconnect when I look at the blogs of the young women who are really into fashion. I think some of the jeans I see are great looking. And some of the shoes I see are gorgeous. And I love the boyfriend blazer, the piled on bracelets, the long skinny legs and small waists. There are some blogs where the women are just so beautiful I almost gasp when I see them. They can carry off things like neon, pastels, belts, scarves, hats, boots, etc. So I look at their blogs and think to myself-I'd love to have that too. Then I get on ebay or other web site and check out if I can get it. Then I get it and it looks awful on me. Then I spend the rest of that day feeling awful about myself. And all because I have a disconnect between what I like to see and what would look good on me. I wonder if anyone else has this problem.

I know a lot of my problem would be solved if I would quit buying from the internet. But I'm not good at going out and shopping either. And I hate trying on things, except bras. So I have another disconnect. I go into a store, rarely, and I look at the garments on the mannequins and on the hangers and I just can't see them on me. But I still don't try them on. I ordered a couple of tops the other day in a 3X thinking I'd like them to be a little big. They came and were a 3X in some alternative universe. Size wise, they were an extra large at most. I like the fabric so I'm going to try to resell them. The same thing happens in the stores. I pick up a 2X, my size, and it looks like a circus tent. So when I look at another brand 2X it looks like it would fit a 12 year old.

I didn't make New Year's Resolutions. So I'm making a resolution now. I will learn to enjoy trying on clothes. I'll try to overcome the disconnect in my mind and see more of how things might look on me. Not on a skinny 25 year old but on an overweight 67 year old. Me.


Ofelia said...

Judy, you must find a good tailor or a friend that sews that can fit clothe to your body type.
I do that all the time with my thrift finds or with sale items that I purchased at the mall even if they are a size bigger.

Share my Garden said...

Dear Judy, You have chosen such a good word to describe what I'm sure many women experience, a disconnect between their perceived and actual selves. I'm not a clever shopper because I covet the things that do me no favours at all. Because of this I always try things on to avoid expensive mistakes - apart from the Boden mail order company who seem to get it right for me. (You're lucky if you enjoy trying on bras because it is a nightmare for me to find one that is comfy and fits.) A lot of the clothes that I enjoy wearing are hand-me-downs from my two daughters; goodness knows what I would look like without their input!
You look such a warm and happy person in your photograph and I'm sure that all who know you think that you look great!

Lisa said...

That's the trick...finding clothing that works for you and makes you feel good. I thrift at Goodwill and Value Village and find many retail and higher end department store items there for it's never too big a loss if I get something home and it just is not working as I thought it would. I do try on all pants/jeans. Have to to get them to fit right. Tops...I have begun just holding them up to me in the store in front of a mirror...or if they're button down I'll slide them on over the fitted t-shirt I'm wearing (after removing cardi). I don't buy that many pants anyway, so it's not toooo stressful. It's actually fun mosying around the store and picking up this and that I randomly like and then realizing a bunch of it matches and makes cute outfits...or intentionally looking for things that go together. If I'm getting a super bargain it makes it easier and more fun. I do not like to shop in retail stores generally though. Thrifing is another story... :)

grunge-queen said...

I know, it can be intimidating looking at those blogs featuring beautiful 25-year olds wearing perfectly-fitting and coordinated designer clothing. But, as you suggest, you are YOU, and what works on a 25-year old may not work for you - and that can be a celebratory thing. I agree with the above comments that finding clothing that fits and flatters your shape will go a long way in making you look and feel great. Unfortunately that best comes when you experiment in the change room trying things on. :)