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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Another goodbye and hello

This time I am trying to say goodbye to preconceived notions. When I was growing up I was told 1. Not to stand pigeon toed and if I did I would need corrective shoes. 2. To stand up straight and not slump because it was bad for my back. 3. A gap between my front teeth needed a trip to the orthodontist. 4. High heels, esp high heel boots, worn with shorts = hooker. 5. The same with see thru garments. 6. White shoes only between Memorial Day and Labor Day. 7. Socks and sandals are not a good look. 8. Shirts should either be tucked in or left out, not half and half. 8. Tats were for sailors and prisoners. 9. Big jewelry was for gypsies. 10. Men appreciate women with a curve or to and their opinion mattered.

Now I have to face those notions and many many more. I read on pinterest that the problem a lot of women have is that they have listened to love songs, read love stories, and seen love movies. There is that. But there are also the messages I got from my mom. The movie star magazines of my teen years gave us tantalizing glimpses into the lives of true stars. The didn't look real and I don't think we wanted them to look real. As a young woman, high school and college years, I dreamed of the beautiful engagement ring, the proud moment when we told everyone about our love, the wedding-----Stop right there. That is as far as my dreaming went. Jump to the riding off into the sunset as an old married couple. I am beginning to think of the good things about the social media now. The frugal cooks, the cleaning and organizing tips, the activities to do with the children. Wow would I have loved to have those things then.

So here I am, watching totally skinny girls wear stuff I was told not to wear, standing ways I was told were wrong, looking for all the world like aliens to the world of the 50's and 60's. Now the magazines delight in showing how the celebrities screw up, not how wonderful they are. The fashion magazines show designer duds and often the item is listed price on request. You know what that means. In these years of middle class dilemma re the economy, price on request is an insult. I enjoy looking at the blogs of the pretty young women who actually take different pieces of fashion and meld them into their own looks. I applaud them. And I'll admit to a certain glimmer of jealousy. A small glimmer.

But on the news this morning I saw an item about the young women on you tube bragging about their gifts from Christmas. They say they aren't bragging. Yeah right. I saw a small blurb the other day about Kim K going to Haiti to "help". I'll bet those who were bragging about their gifts are K fans. Well I'm trying to say goodbye to those things. I'm trying to focus more on the real world and all the things it faces. Don't get me wrong, I still want to look nice. I still enjoy fashion. I still want my home to reflect me more. I still want to get better organized, lose weight, clean the house better, save money, etc. I just want to do it with a realization of where those ideas fit into the real world.

I admit to being uncomfortable with some of the new fashion stuff. Those boots Gaga wears make me want to scream. The fact that many so called actresses and singers feel the need to show all of their body parts to succeed makes me nauseous. The fact that there are people who use the difficulties of others(Haiti) to make themselves look better makes me sick too. These are things I can do nothing about. My former love of name brands, my need to compare myself to others, my need to feel better when a celeb is having problems. These are things I can do something about. Hello to a closer relationship with the real world.


Amber said...

its always a good idea to have a reality check with yourself :) I saw that Kim K story and was just nauseated by it. Why are they famous again?!?

Lorena said...

Those preconceived notions ... i have heard them so many times AND SOME I still DO hear !
Society today seems to be more forgiving on so many aspects, that I actually wish I was born at least 10 years later than I did..