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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I am having a hard time



I'm having a hard time with the photos. I don't know how to do a good photo and I don't have a knowledgeable helper. So I'll just struggle along with what I know and try to learn.

I am also having a hard time with this crummy cold cold cold weather. Instead of getting dressed properly and taking time to go out and do something, I am throwing on the warmest and snuggliest things I can find----- all at once. I look like a fairly clean hippo. But I am warm. The knee, back, and hip are all thanking me for taking such good care of them.

I love the fact that I can read the blogs of those folks who do take the time and effort to go out. And some even photograph themselves with their indoor outfits in the snow. To them I say Huzzah. And I stay in my nice almost warm home.

I have gone to the trouble to check out the wardrobe, and to chuck anything I don't love. And I have found that most of the things I own are slinky knits that are not at all structured. And just about everything looks alike. I have a few hidden pieces that I am going to check out,(when it's warmer). And I also found I didn't have a winter coat. No boots either. I got rid of them about 3 months ago. It hadn't snowed in years. That sort of reminds me of the car washing right before a rain thing. Anyway, I have some scarves but no boots. I was able to find a resale shop that had their winter stuff on sale. I purchased my first fleece garment. It is a huge bright red winter coat in a size larger than I wear. $5. And it's in great shape. I plan to lose weight. So it will be really big. But for $5 I can stand it.

Now on to that losing weight thing. I have planned to lose weight for 32 years. And right now I am bigger than I have ever been. Damn but I hate it. I lost some weight last year but I think I have gained it back. I have the typical figure of a woman planning to have a heart attack. And I am amazed at how many books, Doctors, articles, DVD's, and tv shows there are to sell me on a way to lose weight. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, low thyroid, acid reflux, and I am depressed. Do you wonder why? I also have back, knee, and hip problems. I am just about ready for the Boston Marathon. Actually I am in need of an exercise program that won't kill me. So Monday, I am going to the gym. Come H or high water. But not snow or ice.

Apathy is a deadly disease and I wonder if I can beat it. We'll see!

2 comments:

Lise Marie said...

You can do it!!!! I have faith you can. And throw that old apathy out the window! lol

Maggie said...

Found you via bibbitybob (think I got that right!) and just had to drop you a message to say I know how you feel about the weight. I have high BP, stomach ulcers, and various other ailments I won't bore you, and depress me, with. I need to lose weight, but am on meds which make me gain weight, the best I can hope for is to try and control it.
But, I have found that I can hide the extra pounds(which is my only option since I can't shift the blessed things)by choosing the clothes I wear. So my trousers are never of the loose, slouchy type but more tailored. Even wide legs ones then look slimming, as opposed to slouchy type which cling. I wear long line cardigans, as I am only five foot and a whisper I need all the help in the height department (I always say I am not overweight, just too short for my weight, ie undertall!) I do wear elasticated waists, since it is less heartbreaking and stomach squashing than 'proper' waistbands, and is forgiving on the shape and the psyche. You can kid yourself you are not gaining weight as the waistband expands with you!
Apathy rules OK? Well, I agree it should be thrown out the window, but words are easy aren't they, actions harder.
I think you need to be kinder to yourself. You have a lovely, pretty, attractive face and great smile. Concentrate on the positives.